Clarkson’s Farm Funniest Mishaps | Season 3

• – Jeremy:

• – Kaleb:

Kaleb Brutally Fires Jeremy Clarkson

• – Jeremy:

  I’ve got something serious to say to you. I’ve made a big decision. You are no longer the tractor driver on this farm.

• – Kaleb:

  Why am I then?

• – Jeremy:

  I’ve decided. I’m gonna make you farm manager.

• – Kaleb:

  Really?

• – Jeremy:

  Yep! I want you to run the farming side of it.

• – Kaleb:

  You’re fired!

• – Jeremy:

  What?

• – Kaleb:

  You’re fired!

• – Jeremy:

  You can’t fired, I’m the boss!

• – Kaleb:

  I’m the farm manager! You’re fired!

• – Jeremy:

  I’m not!

• – Kaleb:

  You are!

• – Jeremy:

  I’m not, because you haven’t heard how this is gonna work!

• – Kaleb:

  Tell me that, then you’re fired?

• – Jeremy:

  Here’s how I need to work. I’ve got to concentrate this year, on making money out of that bit of the farm, which isn’t farmed.

• – Kaleb:

  Yes!

• – Jeremy:

  I mean you’ve never even been here

• – Kaleb:

  No!

• – Jeremy:

  And then, that means I’m not gonna have the time, to really concentrate on this bit of the farm.

• – Kaleb:

  On the arable, yeah?

• – Jeremy:

  So I’m gonna put you on the arable. and I’m gonna concentrate on this. And I’ve just had a thought.

• – Kaleb:

  mhm!

• – Jeremy:

  Why don’t we make it into competition. Who in the next 12 months can make the most money. Me out of unfarmed land or you out of farmland.

• – Kaleb:

  I like it!

• – Jeremy:

  So, we’ll get a whiteboard. we’ll put it on the wall and then it’s Jeremy’s profit and costs Caleb’s profit and costs.

• – Kaleb:

  Yeah!

• – Jeremy:

  Okay? And then it’ll run through the year

• – Kaleb:

  mhm!

• – Jeremy:

  I think that would be quite good fun!

• – Kaleb:

  I think it’d be fun as well and I’m gonna win so it’s fine!

• – Jeremy:

  You’re not gonna win!

• – Kaleb:

  I’m gonna win this competition.

• – Jeremy:

  Right get out and get back on your tractor and go and manage the farm.

• – Kaleb:

  I don’t need it now. I’m gonna go and have a nice walk around an analyses of soil!

• – Jeremy:

  Analyses?

• – Kaleb:

  Mhm! It’s a word. It’s is? Analyses!

• – Jeremy:

  No!

• – Kaleb:

  Analyses! It’s is?

• – Jeremy:

  Analyze)))

• – Kaleb:

  Analyze!!!

• – Jeremy:

  To get my farming the “Unfarmed” project off the ground, I did some research.

• – Jeremy:

  And discovered that my local supermarket was charging 6p of blackberry.

• – Jeremy:

  Which meant my hedge rows were fruity gold mines

• – Jeremy:

  Look! 6p, 12, 24, There’s 50p there, another 50p there, and there and there, pound there.

• – Jeremy:

  There’s 30 quid in this one bush alone, easy.

• – Jeremy:

  In order to maximize profits, though, I’d need to harvest them as cheaply as possible.

• – Jeremy:

  So, rather craftily, I asked if I could borrow a blackberry picking machine to see if I liked it.

• – Jeremy:

  Shit, bit bigger than I was explained expects us.

• – Jeremy:

  How are you! Um… We’ve got the grain wagon.

• – Jeremy:

  I’ll just back him up and if you could pull over to the right. Is that all right if you pull over to the right?

• – Jeremy:

  Sorry mate! Do you mind backing up? So, that that wagon can get through and go over there. Is it all right? Cheers mate! Thanks!

• – Jeremy:

  I’m a car park attendant, that’s what I’ve become now.

• – Kaleb:

  Are we doing? I’m loading a lorry!

• – Jeremy:

  Yeah. It was in the way.

• – Jeremy:

  Your farming is in the way of my farming.

• – Kaleb:

  Your farming is getting the way of my farming.

• – Jeremy:

  Isn’t! I just need to get this in. Look at that?

• – Jeremy:

  You don’t even know what it is, do you?

• – Kaleb:

  No! What are you doing?

• – Jeremy:

  That repicking!

• – Jeremy:

  Why do you load the wagon up, then come and see real farming happening?

• – Kaleb:

  Real farm in my ass.

• – Jeremy:

• – Kaleb: